*SMOKED WEED EVERYDAY
*nervous brake down physiatrist unit
*shoom raving at 17 1989
*satanic Crystal healers
*satanic ouija boards
*santanic tarot’s cards
*Demonic medians readings
*ANOREXIA for many years
*NEW AGE KUNDANLINI YOGA
*REHABILITATION *NA MEETINGS
*OVERDOSED 3 times and nearly died
*fear of people rejecting me
*spending so much money on vanity and fashion
All these terrible things I've done and they happened to me I will share with you guys about all these things that I’ve done for the first 26 years of my life I’ve done and experienced for the young years of my life growing up . There are many reasons why this happened to me but mainly being totally percent lead by the dark side .
I so longed for love in my life but didn’t know where to find it or work out what life was all about and searched in all the wrong places I’ve learnt now . I was imprisoned by all these things for many many years . I searched everywhere for answers for help but kept hitting brick walls in my life I would turn to the left or turn to the right but nothing helped or satisfied me I felt empty and lost in total utter despair . Nothing worked or helped me to get out of the pit I was in. But in all this craziness there was the answer the only answer and that was the lord God almighty. He had His hand on me !
I started writing letters to God . I didn’t know or understand about Jesus or the Holy Spirit I understood there was a supernatural, because I’d encountered a spiritual realm that’s for sure but I didn’t know about the light I’d only experienced darkness and terrible depression and looked in all the wrong places for the truth I only had encountered the dark side which for me at the time was the only place I knew that worked for me which were all temporary fixes to try and fix myself and none of them were working until I heard about Jesus about the Holy Spirit angels rejoicing and how much God the Father loved me and had great plan for my life !!
I’d never read the bible I new nothing of this so called Father in heaven who loved me ! When I was in Rehabilitation I was told the sun or the moon could be my God as long as I had a higher power ?? Well I said I believed in God ! That’s all I knew at that time that I believed in a God up there somewhere ?!?? I started to write letters to God I wrote letters that he would help me that I didn’t have hepatitis or HIV Infections and they came back clear !
All I knew is I’d had enough of all this craziness in my life . I wanted to get married and have children have a “normal “ family . So I carried on writing to God . I went to Israel once for a holiday while still using . If I ever traveled I’d always have plenty of medication to get me through methadone DFS 118’s and so on mixed with whiskey kind a got me through . I went to the wailing wall and wrote a letter to God to help me get of drugs and have a normal life .
In my young hippy days I’d traveled a lot and went to Philippines, Thailand, and Hong Kong. There would be plenty of drugs and Thai whiskey mixed with these drugs was heaven to me ! Even the chemists out there would sell me diazepam the list goes on I couldn’t believe it, I thought this was like paradise ! Little did I know . So I look back now on my life and can see I was on a mission looking for God for truth and eventually after all this madness I managed to quit drugs for 3 months in rehabilitation program.
I got clean for the first time in years !! I was clean and serine ! I got pregnant and later found out I was not having one baby but 2 ! I was carrying twins, I was soo happy I can’t explain it . My partner at the time who I’d been with many years went back to heroin so I had to leave him it was the only way I loved him but knew he would hold me back and that was not the path I wanted anymore. I focused on the twins. I was so happy to be pregnant, I was 27 years old then . I found out I was having twin daughters. I was just overjoyed my pregnancy went well I gave birth to Frankie and Connie on the 7/06/1999 I was on another planet
I’d never felt so happy in all my life ! I didn’t have a life before and was lost empty but God was right there with me little did I know that He loved me and sent His only Son to die for me on the cross at Calvary I settled down in my new home with the girls and knew I had to keep myself in check and started to go to a Catholic Church and some guys I knew from my past found out . They started to come round my house witnessing to me about Jesus to be born again and that he has sent me free he shed his blood at Calvary that covered all the bad things above that I’d done that there was a saviour that Jesus died and rose again in 3 days that he’s alive a well that angels rejoice in heaven when somebody believes in him he fills you with his Holy Spirit ! Wow, it was a lot to take in .
The twins were one years old at this time . ( they are now 22 ) I kept on thinking about This Jesus and about God that he really loves me and cares for me so much more than I could ever comprehend ! So I said the sinners prayer. I repented for all my sins and Jesus now lives in me ! and it’s amazing. I was hurt lost and empty but now am filled ! The creator of the universe lives in me ! My eyes were blind but now I see, my ears were closed but now are open to the sound of Jesus. It’s amazing what God has done for me all those years of drugs new age and searching ?!!!?! I didn’t know the answer but now I do ! I am a new creation the old has gone the new has come !
It says in the bible I will never leave you nor forsake you ! And he’s kept that promise since 28th August , he never lets me go ! In the word ( the bible ) it says John 10 v11 I am the good shepherd the good shepherd gives his life for the sheep . Isaiah 53 v 6 All we like sheep have gone astray we have turned everyone to his own way and the lord have laid in him the iniquity of us all . Luke 15 v 4 What man of you having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them dose not leave the 99 in the wilderness and go after that which is lost, until he finds it ?
I started to read the bible for the first time . I couldn’t believe what I was reading it wasn’t like a dead dying book but was living and breathing it was speaking to my heart: YOU DONE YOUR BEST TO KILL ME OH MY ENEMY BUT THE LORD HELPED ME THE LORD IS MY SONG HE HAS BECOME MY VICTORY! Psalm 118 v 13-14. I WILL NOT DIE BUT I WILL LIVE TO TELL WHAT THR LORD HAS DONE PSALM 118-17. Now I understood there is a devil there is a spiritual fight what we can’t see in the heavenly realms. But God says GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN YOU THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD.
I started listening to the word and I started to understand this battle that was going on . That Satan is real and wants your soul . I see clearly now how he has tricked soo many people over the years and has had much practice to intimidate God's people, even you who may be reading this right now! But there is a way out, the only way and that’s Jesus .
He says I am the way the truth and the life no one comes to the Father except through me ! Meaning Jesus . Am 51 on Wednesday the 10th of March and I felt lead to open up and tell you my story . If you who are reading this now and you can identify yourself with me in anyway at all and the life I lead and you yourself are hitting brick walls and feel like you want to come into the family of God that he’s knocking on your heart too please say the sinners prayer He will hear you and answer you he will hold your hand every step of the way . If you are imprisoned too he can help you he can change you ! Say this pray below . “Lord Jesus Christ, I am sorry for the things I have done wrong in my life. I ask your forgiveness and now turn from everything which I know is wrong. Thank you for dying on the cross for me to set me free from my sins. Please come into my life and fill me with your Holy Spirit and be with me forever. Thank you, Lord Jesus. Amen”
If you have said this prayer please contact me and I will send you a bible to read for yourself. You will get to know Jesus for yourself. It’s a personal relationship it’s not religious he gives you his grace and will help you every step of the way plus you know you will meet him face to face one day and live with him in paradise forever and ever amen
Thank you my friend for reading this it’s the first time I have told my story here . As short as it is as my life was soo crazy I’ve had to compact it into a short testimony for all to see I hope and pray you’ve made the right choice.
God bless you, love in Him always our lord and Saviour .
Liz Payne .
This is a photo of me in the midst of all of it...look how skinny I was and young too!!